I have debated about talking about this for some time now but yesterday I received the inspiration to go ahead – thanks Wendy!
I have OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I have never been officially diagnosed but I think you know it when you have it.
My first “severe” episode was when we were first married and Les worked away. I, of course, had to lock up our house and I repeatedly walked through the house checking to make sure all was well. It drove me up the wall but I couldn’t help myself. Or at least that is what I thought at first.
I prayed like a crazy woman about it and then, with God’s help, one night I resolved that I would not get out of bed to check anything. It was a rough night but I hung in there. The next night was easier and, if I remember right, it wasn’t very long after that I was able to leave it all alone.
I didn’t know it had a name until later. I saw a talk show about it and it hit home. I had a name for it!
When my kids were little, I developed little habits or “rituals” to help me feel secure and several times throughout my life I have had a tick with one of my eyes. Stress certainly contributes to it.
For me, I have found that, though it may take some time, I can usually will myself out of it. Praying helps. I haven’t been medicated for it to date. If I feel it coming on I try to cut it off before it gets bad. When you read about what some people endure, I think I have a mild case.
I wonder sometimes how much OCD affects my life and I don’t realize it. I think it probably drives me to do my best as well as overwhelms me sometimes.
So why talk about it publically? Because I think there are quite a few people out there who have it (or any other mental health issue) and are afraid to talk about it. Mental health is always an uneasy subject and it shouldn’t be.
So there you go. It was hard to push the publish button. I hope this inspires someone to get help. Or at least to talk about it to someone who can support you. We aren’t alone.
Have a marvelous day my friends!
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